“You've got this life and while
you've got it, you'd better kiss like you only have one moment, try to hold
someone's hand like you will never get another chance to, look into people's
eyes like they're the last you'll ever see, watch someone sleeping like there's
no time left, jump if you feel like jumping, run if you feel like running, play
music in your head when there is none, and eat cake like it's the only one left
in the world!”
This week I have seen some pretty
remarkable things and some pretty fucked up things, so basically, another day
in the life of Amy. Time to bring the house DOWN (but don’t worry, there’s a
point to all this). My mom was bedridden for much of my life. She used to say
that there are angels living amongst us that look like ordinary people, but
they are here to guide us and make us better people. I believed her! I believed
that she had some insight, due to her illness, that no one else had. Gigs up!
You guys can’t hide from me anymore. Tuck those wings away all you want, but I
saw some pretty amazing angels this week, front and center!!! I saw a friend
that I haven’t seen since college drive far, far away to attend Tameria’s
benefit, without ever having met her, because that’s what friends do when
bad/sad things happen…they show up! I saw two friends drive to California with
the goal of sitting in a hospital just to see someone smile. I saw the labor of
love of making a zillion meatballs so we could feed our stomachs and our
hearts. Bad things happen sometimes. The people in your life are how you get
through it. It takes a village to raise a child they say. Why stop at children?
It takes a village to raise adults. Your peeps. Your rocks. The people you
text, or hug, or share a beer with. Sometimes just to say HI and sometimes to
have a shoulder to cry on…ok and sometimes to have a Karaoke partner, but for
some reason you guys kinda suck at letting me do that..anyways…my daughter has
a friend that texted her in the middle of the night and said she was in trouble
and needed her help right away! After much discussion I allowed her to go pick
her up…on the side of a road…in the middle of the night…with two plastic bags
to her name…homeless…scared…beat up…addicted. She texted my daughter, 'Help me'.
And my daughter was there. She felt like she had no one. She tried to overdose
to make it all go away, and thankfully she survived. 18 years old and believed
she had no one. Everyone, no matter who you are, defines their ‘angel’ through
their own eyes. The people who show up, when it’s ugly and dirty and sad and
painful and no filter can make it look any better. Your beacon of light when it
seems really dark and scary in this big, messy, fucked up world. My sister in
law had a party with all her friends…to celebrate summer…happiness and smiles
were flowing. She told me they, “danced like it was their last day on earth”. It
ended with her friend thinking that this life was too hard for her to
handle…she gave up….she left her four kids and loving husband and friends and
probably a dog or a cat and gave up……………………………. A phone call or a text or a
whisper or a note or a tear or a scream from the highest mountain and someone
would have been there to show her all the reasons why she was loved. Why she
should live! That call never came. Her ‘angels’ were right there, but she
didn’t see them or felt hopeless that there weren’t any. And all of the friends
are left with the ‘whys’ and the sadness and the confusion. The impact we make
in the lives of those around us are not always visible. The impressions we make
on other people in our lives effects people differently and for different
reasons. Have you ever run into someone whom you haven’t seen in ages and they
tell you a memory about you that you don’t even remember yourself? Something
you did or said and you’re all, “OMG I don’t even remember that?”. But they
remembered it. It meant something to them. You did something so insignificant
to you, but it engraved in their memory. Perhaps to make them smile, to help
them out of a hard situation, to change their life. A grain of sand on the
beach seems so insignificant, but so crucial to the big picture. It all adds
up. Make it happen. Share love and smiles. Hold hands and hearts. Laugh and cry
and get raw to the point that you can’t bear to hear anymore. Be present. Sometimes
I just want to scream, “YOU ARE MY PEOPLE” at each and every one of my friends.
The family that I chose to make me smile, laugh, cry, and sometimes crazy. The
people who ‘show up’ when things go dark. The beacons of light. You’re right,
Mom…there are angels disguised as regular, ordinary people living around us.
except, I call them my friends.
P.S. Yes, this counts as church.
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