Empty nest. Sounded so nice some ten years ago when every
last minute of the day was filled with a little person that needed MOM MOM MOM
MOM. When night consisted of picking up every last toy on the ground the whole
time knowing within hours the carpet would consist of army men and legos and
puzzles and fun. I personally rocked every one of my children to sleep. I came
up with the great plan of sleeping with all of my babies. Not so much for the
sake of having them with me but more because of time management. I didn’t have
to run from bedroom to bedroom. I didn’t have to sing “Mamas Little Baby” three
separate times. Mamas little baby likes dancing, dancing…Mamas little baby
likes to boogey down. And ‘boogeying’ down with a huge 8 year old boy in your
arms aint that easy. So I shifted my schedule. I adapted to their needs…and
mine. I lived for them and them alone. Don’t get me wrong I still LIVE for my
children. I would gladly give any part of me if they needed it HANDS DOWN. Some
designer said that the only real love in the world is the love between a mother
and her children. That kind of love is real and true and clean and pure. I get
it. Yes I believe that! I often look around my home which is filled with photos
of my life with my children. My kids think its ‘clutter’. My decorating technique consists of photos of
my babies at various stages of their lives. Everywhere. What else would I want
on my walls or filling my shelves. Nothing! And when I have my morning coffee
and I wander around my home I often find myself crying. I have such a blessed
life. I am so lucky that I have this wonderful family and these beautiful
children that are kind and loving and smart and honest and people you want to
sit down with and have a conversation with. That is how I raised them. I raised
them to be that warm cup of coffee; that belly hurting laugh; that come and give
me a hug when you need it; that brush the hair out of your eyes; that sit with
your dog and rub his tummy; that let me listen to your story; that ‘its my last
dollar let me help’ type of people. I NEEDED to raise them to have these
qualities. I needed to raise 3 more people to live on this earth to think like
this…about others…about what matters…about caring and loving and compassion. I
had a bedridden mother most of my life. I KNOW without a doubt in my body that
my compassion for others came from those years as her caregiver. I tell my kids
pretty much daily about those years. I tell them about those years because I
pray daily that they will develop the compassion that is 100% necessary in this
world. I pray and I pray and I pray and I pray and then I get a phone call and
its Parker saying he’s waiting outside of a Burger King with a young homeless
man who he is helping get into a rehab because he was crying alone in a parking
lot. Or I get a phone call from Hannah that she is friends with all the homeless
people at her college. Or Ashley is telling me that she wants to make
sandwiches for the homeless and distribute them around town. Mother Theresa said, “If we have
no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” Teach
that. Demonstrate that. Be vigilant about that! If they have that then the next
60, 70, 80 yeas of their lives will be a good world to live in. We belong to
each other. I had a long conversation with a friend of mine yesterday about the
whole standing for the anthem thing. We are all divided on that issue. I
understand the ‘meaning’ behind it and the ‘reason’ some kneel..okokok. but
then I talked to a mom whose child is at some military academy that starts with
a ‘Fort’ and when they mention it you have to act like you know what they are
talking about but you have no idea…anywaysssss…. She said ‘It’s my son’s 19th
birthday but he is at Fort XYZ becoming a Marine’. HE IS AT FORT XYZ BECOMING A
MARINE! Her baby is learning how to defend our country. It sounds like a broad
term ‘defend our country’ but what it really means is that I can wake up on a
Sunday morning and make a fresh pot of coffee and go outside and listen to the
birds sing while petting my dogs and text my babies and ask if they want to
come over because I’m cooking bacon. I can do that because some mom taught her
child how to be compassionate enough to care about how my Sunday morning will
go because he is at some place called Fort XYZ learning to be a Marine. With
that being said, my baby turned 19 today. He is NOT at some FORT place becoming
a Marine. He is in a dorm room about 115 miles (exactly) from me, probably
hours away from being awake and even caring that today is his birthday. I used
to fill the house with balloons when they woke up each morning on their
birthdays. It was a grand event! I have to admit that I don’t know how to do
birthdays anymore. If I fill the house with balloons my dogs just look at me
like wtf. So I send some texts that read: ‘want me to come down and take you to
lunch on your birthday?’…or ‘text me back please I want to know what you want
to do on your birthday’……… and then I wait…..tick tock….he’s probably still
asleep….. he is asleep. But he will wake up as a 19 year old. Let me tell you
what that 19 year old looks like. He is a bowl full of laughter. He has the wit
of his uncle. He is ‘Parker with the pretty eyes’ (earned that name in
kindergarten). He is a top ranked athlete in Arizona. He is a kid who hung up
his cleats when all the world gasped to ‘try something else’. He is a die-hard
fraternity member. He holds the world in his hands as he gently tests the
waters one toe at a time. He messes up…sure he does…I wouldn’t have it any
other way….to learn to be human is a valuable lesson. I know without a doubt
that he will defend our country some day in some shape or form. If you meet
this person know that behind the dimples and the ‘pretty eyes’ is a great
man…who genuinely GENUINELY cares about you whether he knows you or not,
because he has a mother some 115 miles away, with unfilled balloons, that
taught him that compassion is what matters the most. Oh, and he STANDS when he
hears the anthem…we all stand… because there’s some mom who has a son at some
place called Fort XYZ that is turning 19 and learning how to be a Marine on his
birthday.
